Happy Floweruary :)
The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I’m alive, but monsters are always hungry, darling, and they’re only a few steps behind you, finding the flaw, the poor weld, the place where we weren’t stitched up quite right, the place they could almost slip right through if the skin wasn’t trying to keep them out, to keep them here, on the other side of the theater where the curtain keeps rising. I crawled out the window and ran into the woods. I had to make up all the words myself. The way they taste, the way they sound in the air. I passed through the narrow gate, stumbled in, stumbled around for a while, and stumbled back out. I made this place for you. A place for you to love me. If this isn’t the kingdom then I don’t know what is. So how would you catalog it? Dawn in the fields? Snow and dirty rain? Light brought in in buckets? I was trying to describe the kingdom, but the letters kept smudging as I wrote them: the hunter’s heart, the hunter’s mouth, the trees and the trees and the spaces between the trees, swimming in gold. The words frozen. The creatures frozen. The plum sauce leaking out of the bag. Explaining will get us nowhere. I was away, I don’t know where, lying on the floor, pretending I was dead. I wanted to hurt you but the victory is that I could not stomach it. We have swallowed him up, they said. It’s beautiful, it really is.
With kid gloves
If love is living
Giving and forgiving
Needing and conceiving
Innocence and wisdom
Why does the illusion
And all it’s repercussions
Feel so trecherous to me?
It’s getting late
And I am tired
With thoughts wrapped
Like barbed wire
Around my head
The resonance of past crimes
Haunt me through the night
Until I find sleep
A restless heart
Trapped inside it’s cage
Aches to breathe
If you believe
I shall believe
That as one we’ll conquer all
But if not, I’ll lay alone
In my bed of chrome
Until dawn
Have I told you how much I need you?
If I haven’t I’m a fool, you see
For no one needs you more than me
Edge of the sea
You’re by the shore
And I’m a mess
With a hundred seashells in my hair
And a necklace of twisted bones
Around my neck
After swimming in your soul
For an hour or so
And nearly drowning
I’m at the sea’s edge
Paralyzed
Push me down
Please… don’t be nice
Collect the pieces
When I fall
Feed them to the seagulls
End this nonsense once and all
Lucretia
Hysterical
I have abandoned everything but my voice
So I scream the primal scream
That keeps me breathing
Violently
For I have lost the breath
That causes remorse
Ruined
On contingent self-sabotage
Executed by my own two hands
Which pay respect
To all that stands before repentance
Cold I turn
Hard I shiver
As the prince fish dying
By the edge of the river
It was born to rule
Repugnant as death
I take in the afternoon breeze
By the footsteps that lead to my door
Covered in a carpet
Of sickening brown leaves
I don’t fail to notice how
Nature contributes
To the fabric of the day
With the most sensible décor
My car’s parked across the street
I will drive it
Until there’s no pavement left
Escape this city
Never look back
But who’s this screaming woman
Staring me down on my rearview mirror?
I have never seen her face
Her lips… are a maze
Her eyes… nothing but narrow gaze
Lovers Ransom
It begins with curiosity
To see what simmers
Right below the surface
If one plus one equals two
Two plus two equals all
In whispered shadows
I have been found out
Attempting to decode this
Take hold heart
Rapture has never been so sweet
Echo of lost voices
Inebriate the air
Noise becomes music
Deepening passion breeds surrender
Fluently
In the absence of words
A garden of well crafted syllables
Illustrate love
I am growing accustomed
To the intricacies of you
Memories of a monlight kiss
Take my breath hostage
Submerging resistance in waves of nostalgy
Caress my soul
While your presence still lingers in me
Nights apart are bitter torture
If I could I would shorten the moons
Until we meet again
Scenes of us in hidden chambers
Consume me
I miss you
What a strange feeling this is…
I had never missed one such as this
In darkness, I plunge
Into absolute wonder
Prelude
In the end
I don’t want to hurt
Much in this life already bleeds me
Nothing you can take
Wasn’t once stolen away
By opportunistic thieves
As I act upon my sins
Despite old heartaches and sorrows
I yearn you’ll stay
What your presence
Gives to me
Is worth risking
A look behind
Closed doors
Soon I will find
Hidden in my mind
A garden for you and I
To be
All Mine
For months and weeks
I have been inflicted
With the most joyous inspiration
And overwhelming sensation
The jailed bird inside of me
Demands to be set free
Hesitation
Condemnation
Accusation
Trepidation
Attempt their reason
And tired arguments
In vain
The illusion of us
Evades logic
Transcends reason
Requires no explanation
I feel my heart beat faster
Everytime your gaze is upon me
The connection, deliberately intense
Forces me, abruptly, to look away
But there’s nothing I want more
Than hold you dear
And pull you close
Deep inside of me
Remembrance of love
Flood my eyes
By the surface of a pool
Where the pale face of the moon
Gently smiles
Effortelessly
My tide rises
To greet yours
In a sea of ecstasy
When the time is right
I want you mine
All mine
For the taking
Clouds
I took out the raw
Took out the prose
I swallowed the sorrow
The morning you rose
Unconsciously waiting
As white paper planes
Fly over my head
Once you were dead
In my nightmare
Forget what I said
It’s all in your head
Remember the dream we had?
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